Besebenzisa isibakala sokuba abantwana abaninzi besandul’ ukuqalisa unyaka wesikolo, kukho abazali abagqiba kwelokuba bababhalise kumdlalo njengeklasi yasemva kokuphuma kwesikolo okanye njengento yokuzonwabisa. Ukususela kwiminyaka emi-3 kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abancinci baqalise ukunxibelelana nabanye abantwana kunye nabantu abadala kwihlabathi lezemidlalo.
Kubalulekile ukuba ngumntwana okhetha ukuba nguwuphi umthambo afuna ukuwuqhelisela. Abanye abazali babhalisa abantwana babo kwezo klasi bebenqwenela ukuba bebeye kuzo besebancinane yaye ezibakhathazayo.
Kwaye ngokumalunga nakho konke oku, kukho ibinzana ongafanele ulibize kumntwana. Siyakuxelela ukuba yintoni kunye nendlela onokuthi uthethe ngayo ngenye indlela ngaphandle kokudemoyisa omncinci.
Yeka ukuthi "awukwazi"
Kukangaphi usiva umntu (utitshala, ebeka iliso okanye umzali) esithi kumntwana "akunakwenzeka"okanye ntoni"ayikwazi" Yenza into? Inene ukhe wasokola usemncinci. Kwakhona bandibekela imida engqondweni ngenxa yamabinzana afana nala. Xa ukhula, kunokuba lucelomngeni ukufuna ukubonisa umntu ukuba unako; kodwa xa ungumntwana, bakuxelela ukuba into ayinakwenzeka, iya kumisa umda wengqondo onokuthi ungaze waphulwe.
Mna ngokwam, bendingumntwana obhityileyo nonganxibelelani kakuhle kwaye andizange ndibe nobuchule kwezemidlalo. Okanye yilento bandixelela yona. Ndandizele yimida yengqondo, endiyazi ngoku ukuba ayiyonyani. Ngubani owayendixelele ukuba ndiliqhenqa lokutsiba intambo okanye andikwazi kubaleka imizuzu engama-30?
Kodwa akuyongxaki kuphela echaphazela abantwana. Kuluntu kukho imiqobo emininzi engenangqondoNjengabafazi abanako ukuphakamisa iintsimbi ezinzima okanye amadoda awakho bhetyebhetye.
Into enomdla kukubona abazali abaphula nawuphi na umqobo kwaye babone indlela umntwana wabo aguquka ngayo, ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo. Kukho abantu abatsha abafuna ukulandela ekhondweni labazali balo, kwaye xa bebona ukuba umdlalo uyathandwa ekhaya, kutheni kufuneka siwumise nokuba bancinci kangakanani na? Kunokuba umxelele ukuba loo mthambo ayinakwenzeka kuye, makazame ukuze awazi amandla akhe.
Kwingqiniseko ethile, into engenakwenzeka inokwenzeka. Sibona ukuba kukho iimbaleki eziluphuculayo uhlobo lwazo, bakhona njani abantu abadala ababa ziintshatsheli zehlabathi okanye inkwenkwe eneminyaka eli-17 ubudala yayiyintshatsheli yegalufa ehlawulwayo.
Sinokuthini endaweni yokuthi “akunakwenzeka”?
Nokuba ungumzali, umqeqeshi, umhlohli, okanye utitshala, igama elithi akunakwenzeka kufuneka liphume kwisigama sethu. Ungasebenzisa amagama afana nala:
- «Uvavanyo«. Makazame, makazame phambi kokwenza.
- «Ayikenzeki«. Musa ukumvimba ekuhambeni kwexesha okanye umxelele ukuba akakwazi ukwenza into ethile. Menze aqonde ukuba akanakuyenza namhlanje, kodwa ukuba kwixesha elizayo ngokuqinisekileyo unako.
- «Zama kwakhona«. Ukuze into ihambe kakuhle, kufuna ukuziqhelanisa kakhulu. Ukukhuthaza abantwana ukuba bafunde kwiimpazamo zabo kuya kubanceda baguquke kwaye baphucule.