Making friends is relatively easy, depending on how sociable we are. When we suffer from social anxiety, things get complicated. This is why throughout this text we are going to give some basic tips to get to know new people if we have a social phobia disorder, although it is always best to contact a mental health professional and have them help us.
We do not want to trivialize the subject, we just want to offer help, explaining what social anxiety is, how to detect when someone suffers from it to help them and we are also going to give some basic tips to help make friends and improve our self-esteem and our life in general. Social phobia is a serious disorder that requires professional care and should not be underestimated or laughed at. If you suffer from it, please ask for help, don't be ashamed or afraid.
What exactly is social phobia
Beyond being shy, having social anxiety is a disorder that must be treated as soon as possible so that the person can develop normally in social environments. It consists of an intense and persistent fear of being watched, humiliated, and judged by others. Social anxiety is hereditary, but it is still unknown why some inherit it and others do not.
This state comes to affect studies, work, daily activities such as eating in front of someone or going to the gym, asking someone for directions, going to the supermarket, etc. It usually appears in adolescence, and although it tends to be confused with shyness, if not treated on time, it can block the sufferer to the point of not wanting to leave home.
There are a series of signs that will help us realize that that friend, neighbor, son, acquaintance, partner, etc. has social phobia and we can learn to interact with these people and offer them our hand and help:
- They blush quickly.
- They sweat a lot when interacting or in public situations where they may feel judged.
- They tremble with fear and feel that their hearts are going to come out.
- Stiff body posture and poor eye contact.
- Difficulty speaking fluently.
- They are very self-aware people at all times, so they feel ashamed, clumsy and mentally beat themselves up.
- They tend to speak in a low tone of voice.
- They are scared or scared easily.
- They avoid places where there are many people.
- They are afraid of being judged by other people.
Diagnosis and treatment
You just have to go to a psychologist and the professional will indicate what happens, depending on the severity of the case, he could proceed to prescribe some medications, or other therapies such as support groups, which in these cases usually work very well, in addition to continuing with the therapy.
Medicines, at least in Spain, are actually prescribed by a psychiatrist, but there are some psychologists who can guide us. In addition, it will be these mental health professionals who refer us to a psychiatrist if they see it as necessary.
The medications are usually anxiolytics, antidepressants and beta-blockers, but this is not always used, since the main thing is the physical, emotional and mental state of the patient and their response to therapy.
Dialogue therapies are often the key, since those who suffer from this type of anxiety see themselves face to face with a person, in a neutral environment that gives them security and little by little they interact and express themselves.
All the psychotherapies They are also important in these cases and that is because psychotherapists teach ways of thinking, behaviors, approaches, ways of reacting, etc. In this way, it is possible to re-educate the brain when facing a situation that causes us fear and anxiety, such as trying to make friends. This is not a matter of 2 sessions, but rather it is daily work that must be continued outside of therapy.
Basic tips for making friends
There are a series of basic tips with which you can make friends and meet new people. Of course, it is recommended to physically interact with someone and meet people little by little, and not get used to hiding behind a mobile or computer. It is recommended to meet new people within the same city or in the surroundings, as long as there is the possibility of safe transportation.
- Do not avoid situations, but try to interact. The more it is avoided, the stronger the phobia becomes.
- No following posing tricks, set phrases, dressing in a way that doesn't make us feel good, pretending to be someone else, etc.
- Find like-minded people, either in online or physical groups.
- try to use applications to meet people or do activities within the same city or a nearby one that can be easily reached.
- Change your thinking and not believe that everyone is going to judge, laugh, discriminate, etc. You never know how someone will react, so you have to think that the chances of rejection and ridicule are much lower than acceptance.
- Set short-term challenges such as improving eating habits, improving physical condition, practicing some type of sport or some craft. The important thing is to work on self-esteem, and if it is in the company of someone, even better.
- No one notices anxiety as much as the one who suffers from it. Anxiety is a problem only for those who suffer from it, those around them do not realize it, so they will not be aware of every gesture, word, movement, etc.
- Act quickly. accept and internalize the problem and show it naturally.
- Do not trust quickly, relationships have a rhythm to obtain the necessary trust.
- Do not get frustrated if the desired result is not achieved when it comes to making friends.
- Non-verbal language is key. Nor should we feign interest, but if we don't know what to say, we can nod, smile, accompany what the interlocutor says with our hands, etc.
- To start talking it is better to use open questions, or try to take an interest in the other person to start a healthy conversation.